EDIT: This post has been in the works for several weeks now. Generally I would want to polish it up and make the photos look a little nicer before sharing, but I have too many friends bringing home brand new babies right now to selfishly worry about my “image” and perfectionism and keep this info all to myself. So, rough and poorly written in the dim light of please-don’t-wake-up-so-I-can-keep-using-two-hands-to-type, here it is – the results of a new year’s resolution and bringing home a new baby! (PS: The server refused to upload photos at the time that I posted this. Will update with photos later.)
The 2021 Re-SOLUTION: And How I Applied It To New Parenthood
After we lost Nugget in 2020, the world seemed pretty bleak. I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression, then Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and took a nose dive into a whole new level of finding a way to survive. I started meditating, and doing an enormous amount of self reflection to identify what I needed to get through the day-to-day. We barred visitors and didn’t socialize much, so that I could learn how to set boundaries that gave breadth for me to manage my anxiety, grateful that we could piggy back on the pandemic as an excuse, though it was actually an additional reason for my low-grade agoraphobia. I reread books that helped me feel brave, one of them being Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want To Come, by Jessica Park, a memoir of an introvert living as an extrovert for a year. Without giving it all away, one chapter is focused on the hang up of being an introvert – focusing on the “no,” rather than the “yes, and.” As 2021 dawned, I set a new resolution for self growth: to be more solution-oriented and less problem-focused.
On April 1st, this resolution became the keystone of survival, as we learned we were pregnant again, and the next several months would be rift with anxiety, doctor’s appointments, and hospital visits. Eight months later, as most you probably already know, we brought home Doodlebutt. He’s six weeks old now, and I am by no means the calm, experienced, confident parent. But I am still proud of myself for the problems I’ve solved, particularly under the extraordinary exhaustion that newborn parenting and breastfeeding bring.
I’d like to share a few of those ideas now. Some are my own invention; others are borrowed from friends, providers, books, or the internet. If I can remember where I got it, I’ll provide the resource.
NICK NACKS
Bendy desk mirror with clip on the bedside bassinet – Here’s Lookin’ At You, Kid
This may be a parenting after loss thing, but I needed to be able to wake up and put eyes on Doodle in order to get any rest or peace at all. We tried the baby cam that we’d ordered while pregnant with Nugget, but the range and quality of picture were of zero comfort to me, and required me to place Doodle’s bassinet far from the head of the bed. If I wanted to put eyes on him, I had to scoot down the length of the bed to do it, and my post op belly was not a fan of that idea. So, during a late night feeding sesh, I got to work finding a solution – a clip on mirror that I could bend into the bassinet and twist so that I could see Doodle’s face from my pillow with very little effort to move. This is the one I bought, on this bedside bassinet. I’d recommend something a little bigger and maybe concave as this one a smidge small for my taste, and difficult to see if he’s spit up or not in the dark.
It’s also a handy hook for our shusher and white noise owl.
Main floor diaper changing station
Our house has three stories, and anyone with a newborn knows that’s far too much, especially when the laundry is downstairs and the changing station is upstairs. While we were at the hospital, my mom-in-law set up this pack n play, a gift from my sis-in-law that includes a bassinet and changing table. With some dollar store baskets to organize diapers, creams, and spare clothes, it served well to save us (well, Matt, as I couldn’t bend over or climb stairs carrying any weight) some travel time.
Risers for the pack n’ play
Alas, pack n’ plays are far too low to the ground to be kind to your back if you’re taller than 4’8”, so I got these furniture risers on Amazon. This is something to really consider as a safety issue. For M and I, it was a necessary risk, as his degenerative disk disease can’t face that challenge multiple times a day without resulting in some rueing of the day.
I recommend measuring the feet on your pack n’ play and getting plenty of risers to provide mid-pack support. Also, don’t lean on the pack n’ play, as it can fall off of the risers.
Storage under the pack n’ play
An advantage of the pack n’ play risers is all the extra space you have underneath now. I purchased some clear plastic totes and baskets on sale at Target, and we’re now using them to store the spare pump with parts, spare bottles and nipples, and extra diapers, wipes, and pee pads (for the changing table). I also grabbed some nifty plant hooks for hoodies and small grocery bags.
Stroller toy for the changing table
Doodle screamed bloody murder during diaper changes for weeks. Poor kid had god-awful diaper rash (more on that later), so bad that it was raw and bleeding. M and I (mostly M) felt awful during every change, and the mess to clean up, with cream slathered all over our hands, and Doodle’s feet and legs from thrashing around, made the whole process that much longer. During a Target baby items sale, I happened across this stroller toy, and decided to give it a shot. It has little adjustable gripper hands and a series of elbows across the arch so that it can fit just about any length. BEST. PURCHASE. YET. It has rattles and a mirror on it, giving Doodle things to punch and stare at while he’s being changed. Granted, his rash is also clearing up so maybe it’s less uncomfortable now, but considering he’s still throwing a fit during just about every change at the other (toy-less) station, I’m giving props to the stroller toy.
Bendy Owlet stand
As previously mentioned, the baby monitor we acquired during our first pregnancy is a giant disappointment. The camera is settled into a sphere, which would lead one to believe that it would have damn near 360 degree access. Alas, the stupid little thing barely has 50 degree access. It’s a baby cam and it DOES NOT LOOK DOWN. Pardon my French but WTF??!! A couple of months into our pregnancy with Doodle, we bought an Owlet. Given our anxieties about monitoring Doodle, we were actually in it for the anklet (that monitors oxygen level and heartbeat; we have yet to use it as one of us is always in the same room as Doodle so far) but I found it on super sale and it wound up only being an extra $30 for the camera, and honestly it’s been worth every penny. The feed is nearly instantaneous (there’s roughly a three second delay), we can both monitor him on our phones, and the camera can pop right out of the magnetic stand so you can screw it into this nifty little bendy arm and get precisely the angle you need to obsessively watch your baby sleep like a good little budding helicopter parent. The one downside is that if you’re perusing your phone, having the camera up at the same time isn’t possible (or I haven’t figured out how to do that yet anyway). Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise – save me from myself, Pinterest!
Cream Application
Like I said, Doodle has had some struggles with diaper rash. As you may know, with that affliction comes a multitude of creams that have to be applied vigorously in two inch thick goops. After watching M’s hands slowly progress into dry, cracked, and bleeding territory from cleaning diaper cream goop off of his hands on various wipes, I invested in those little butt spatulas. I thought they worked swimmingly but M was unimpressed. One day, Doodle did as babies often do, and let’s just say the spatula was compromised. So I reached for this special spoon we had tucked away for Ruger’s canned food. Hark, herald, the angels sing, M liked that a lot better.
He’s still wiping his hands on various synthetic cloths steeped in chemicals that have turned his hands into the aftermath of a Grade Stupid Strong earthquake – so that’s a work in progress still.
Your Breastfeeding Station – A checklist
Snacks
Drinks
Breastfeeding Pillow – My Brest Friend
Charger
iPad
Pump
Baskets – at least two, labeled with clean and dirty, for carrying to kitchen and/or laundry
Burp Cloths, blankets
CLOTHES
H&M Sleep Nursing Bra – I must have gone through six or seven different Amazon brands before I finally gave up on Amazon and followed my friend Kara’s suggestion of the H&M bra. Oh if I could go back in time and do it all over, I would have purchased ten of these six months ago. They’re soft and stretchy and still have some light support. AND ya’ll. They’re NOT stupid expensive!
Lululemon leggings, BLANQI leggings – these ARE stupid expensive, but after a c-section, these helped me get up and walking much faster. Grab an Align or two for around the house, and something with a bit more compression when you’re going out. I’d still wear the belly binder though.
Kindred Bravely Jogger – my top choice for a lounge pant. Soft, stretchy, forgiving.
Ekouer Nightgowns – I’ve collected at least seven of these by now. Soft, flowy, and some of them are actually pretty cute. Not bad for a cheap-ish Amazon brand.
Inversy High Waisted Tummy Support Panty – for the c-section mama
FOOD
Lactation Teas
Oatmeal Cookies
Probiotic Drops w Vitamin D
